Essential small things

like words

I woke up thinking about small things that make big differences. Most of us tend to think of singular, dramatically good or bad events as being the things that make the most difference in our lives. Yet I keep thinking it's the smallest most often repeated ordinary things that actually make the difference.

Most things in life aren't “once and done”. Things don't stay a particular way. Repeated maintenance and care of daily stuff are like the lungs and blood flow of our mental and physical life. Our external world constantly changes. Our emotions flit up and down like birds in flight. Our physical abilities grow and change like flowers within a season. We exert efforts daily to maintain a household and care for ourselves and others via thousands of small actions of daily maintenance and care.¹ Nature exerts a similar daily effort to maintain and care for living things … seeds and pollen scatter, the sun shines, the rain falls… and life renews… via repetitions of those very tiny elements.

Similarly in our private life, it's the little comforting things, the little interests, the things enjoyed for their own sake² (not monetized or made much of) and the things we repeat that matter most for our mental and physical renewal.

Out my front windows one morning this week I saw blue scrub jays flying and flowers blooming in the gentle rain. I used blue ink to write and draw this sketchbook page inspired by my thoughts described above and the birds and flowers.

Another morning, I thought again about the fleeting small mundane pleasant things and how they compound, adding up to a pattern of life. So I drew a pattern of flowers and birds in my sketchbook.

Another morning, I thought that though the impermanence of everything is normal and constant, it's also true that nothing good is ever wasted. That thought inspired me to look for a quote by Aesop that I half-remembered. Then for multiple mornings I worked on this sketchbook page with the Aesop quote about small kindnesses.

Still another morning, I used blue ink and a gold-yellow gouache paint color to make another sketchbook page on the topic.

This meme I found also relates to my thoughts…

… and I find myself thinking about memory and adding “having good memories” to the above list of luxuries.

I like remembering small kindnesses, small enjoyments and small pleasant actions and interactions. The little things really are everything.³

One of the tiny interactive mundane things I think about most often are words. The words we use to talk to ourselves and others can have the biggest positive or negative effects on our life⁴. The words we repeat can have impacts that ripple out like ocean waves.

Speaking of mental tidal waves: besides remembering kindnesses and rehearsing past pleasant moments I enjoy repeating poetry to myself.

The first poem I remember intentionally trying to memorize, on my own without being required to do so by any adult, is Robert Frost's “Nothing Gold Can Stay”. I was about 13 or 14 years old, reading “The Outsiders” by S. E. Hinton, and one of the book characters quotes that poem from memory. So I decided to try to memorize it too.

That poem is one that still matters to me decades later. I wrote it (again) in my most recent notebook list of enjoyable things.

Speaking of small ephemeral personal interests that haven't got a profit motive attached - I enjoy reading and collecting three categories of anthologies: essays, short stories and poetry. I enjoy reading a short something just before bedtime - it feels like a box of chocolate samplers kind of indulgence. In my opinion the concept of “bedtime stories” applies to all ages.

My friend

Rebecca Holden

recently recommended the poetry collection “Dancing By The Light Of The Moon” by Gyles Brandreth. I'm enjoying the playfulness of many of the poems. It's nice to go to bed smiling or chuckling. It makes a difference in my sleeping.

While it's true that nothing gold can stay it's also true that nothing shitty stays either.

So hold on. Hold on to small things, small interests, small kindnesses. Endure. And remember to find something every day to enjoy, to play with and to repeat.

1. The Myth of the Dog Eat Dog World

2. In Defense of Temporary Obsessions

3. The Little Things

4. Here's a page from a book I illustrated that talks about “the language of repair”… book link here - https://store.bookbaby.com/book/dr-bobs-emotional-repair-program-first-aid-kit1